a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
