idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Come see our sink grown plant.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
