My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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