Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
