i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I need a beard to bite.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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