Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Mom said you looked used
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
