He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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