Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
