take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
