He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
