She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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