For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
