I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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