But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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