you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
