garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
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