I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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