They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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