i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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