He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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