so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
