What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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