allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
