I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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