But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
