I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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