whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize