I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
