Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
