All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
