I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
