Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize