oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
