You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
