I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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