I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
