Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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