once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
