No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
