I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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