He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
