the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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