Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
