I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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