my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Farmville is her only friend.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
