pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Randomize
