GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
