I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
