Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
