i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
