The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
