im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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