On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
