I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is wine microwaveable?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
