ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
