I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize