Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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