i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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