Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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