Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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