now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize