On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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