Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize