Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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