super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
